My ability to watch news has diminished so dramatically, I can only stand five minutes before my heart lurches into overdrive, my low blood pressure escalates and the urge to hide in my closet is hampered only by the fact that my closets remain too packed with stuff to allow ample room on the floor. Ebola. ISIS. Rauner and Oberweis. Mitt may run again! I don’t know what to fear most so I let topics play a macabre game of musical chairs in my head while Nero plays in the background. And friends wonder why there’s vodka in my freezer.